Do the best you can

What if.....

The soul doesn’t separate, the ego does.

The soul doesn’t need security, the ego does.

Every form of religion could support the ego and focus on (a false sense) of security, through means of control, separation, and discrimination to the point of violence - which feeds fear and therefore more followers seeking its “comfort.”  I fear many religions do.

Every form of religion could support the soul and focus on understanding our ego’s desires and our soul’s desires.  They can teach us to listen to the soul, to seek the collective soul, to use our ego’s triggers as a way to uncover our longings to understand, love, and connect to the point of unity - which feeds compassion and therefore more followers seeking its “comfort.” I fear many religions don't.  

I'm sad that within

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The key 2 peace

I think the Key to Peace is compassion and it is deepens by practicing; 

paying attention in the moment, to be present and open to what truly is.

regulating our emotions and connecting with our feelings. 

identifying the needs we are longing for and  

recognizing and honoring that everyone else has those same needs and that they are doing the best they can with their unique experience, exposure, and resources they currently have.

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Pick up the call

Friday, on my way to The Spiritual Direction Institute class, I made my weekly call to my grandmother.  During our call she struggled to hear me.  She normally needs to take out her hearing aids because the buzz when she's on the phone.  She really enjoys hearing about our kids and stories of our daily lives.  I really enjoy her witty sense of humor as I usually arrive to my next destination with all my eye makeup cried away from intense laughter.  On this week's call she was asking to repeat the stories and was answering with generic responses.  By the end of our call, she started

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Each Moment

It is only when I do your work that pride has no meaning for me.

My eyes rest on the present moment. Only on what exists in your presence to be found in this moment.

Things that seem to be important in our world are shallow, meaningless, and melt away.

I release the grasp of the brass ring, the empty promises of our culture, and my heart is fully at peace.

I love and am loved and I rest my body and its longings. Your glory is waiting for me to let go and become still so it can be revealed.

Within me you live and move and breathe.

Allow my peace and connection with you be a way for others to see your grace.

Let me not be tempted to turn away from this knowing and being.

Rewrite of Psalm 131, written 1/25/13

Perceiving a fullness of needs

Maybe it is just me, but when I first became aware of NVC, I focused primarily on conflict resolution.  Maybe it is because I value peace, harmony, and understanding so much.  Maybe it is because I have small children and I was searching for tools that could create more peace, harmony, and understanding between my husband and I as well as between siblings.  Now that I've been practicing for years, I am doing more practice of gratitude with NVC.  The ways of healing, growing, and transforming with these tools are ever expanding.
I read this quote from Dalai Lama recently,
"The idea of one side suffering defeat while the other side triumphs is out of date. Instead we have to develop dialogue. We have to make an effort if we want a peaceful, more compassionate world. It requires education, based on patience, tolerance and forgiveness. Too often violence results from greed, so we also need contentment and self-discipline."
I was struck with how Marshall Rosenberg, PhD, describes the principle that we are the ONLY one that can perceive whether our needs are fulfilled or not.  It is my understanding that our contentment is a function of our perception of need fulfillment.  As we practice gratitude, non-attachment to our out-dated perceptions of what it takes to have needs satisfied, we are capable and are empowered to simplify and open a wider understanding of contentment.
May you sense the fulfillment of your needs today.  May acceptance, gratitude, and a desire for everyone's needs being met allow us to let go of attachment to an idea of what it might require for us to be content.
Imagine the fullness and beauty of all your needs and everyone else's.
Grace in, peace out,

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Emergency self empathy not enough?

"I really value order, peace, acceptance, security, understanding, harmony, predictability, rest, respect, justice, support, and mutuality!"
When the list of unmet needs looks like this when practicing emergency self empathy, it might be time for self care.
I consider self care the awareness of our needs and looking at and employing strategies to meet these needs.  This morning as a I travel home with family on a road trip, I am wondering about the strategies I currently use and how I might find new ones.  If my only strategy for getting caught up on rest is taking a day off from work when all three kids are in school, I might need to find others because that relies on school being in session and no one being sick. As we grow and change, we need to let go of strategies that don't work and look for new ones for ourselves and in collaboration with others.
I am dreaming of a time when our Houston NVC community can find a physical space for our community to connect and grow together.  Beyond a practice group for parents, I'd like to have an NVC village. We all know it takes a village.  What if our village was full of other parents who are familiar with and practice NVC?  I would love to collaborate with other parents to create a list of strategies we each use to meet each of our needs and the needs of our families.  What strategies do we model and teach our children to help them grow into stewarding their own needs?
In the meantime, I hope to employ effective strategies, new and old, to find more order, peace, acceptance, security, understanding, harmony, predictability, rest, respect, justice, support, and mutuality.  I hope that your strategies are working well to meet the needs of you and your families today too.
Grace in, peace out,

If you want to find out more about the most common needs that show up on this list for each of us, attend my class on Sept 14 where we'll explore Enneagram personality types of parents and kids and how they relate to our values (NVC-needs).
Click here to register for this free talk.

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