Chaseism - What teens need

I recently put together a presentation to a group of parents of teenagers. I was hoping to teach them the basis of nonviolent communication (NVC, the based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg). At the heart of this way of thinking and living is the concept that we all have the same needs (values) and that all the actions we take are to get these needs met.

As I was preparing, I asked Chase, "what do you think the kids might want their parents to learn?" He replied, "that we want to be understood. We want to be seen for who we are, and that even though we can basically take care of ourselves, we still really want to spend time with you, and have your attention."

What he listed were needs, values that we all have. When we are able to connect at this level, we have the ability to honor and contribute to each other at a deeper level.

I am so grateful for having exposure to this work that is continuing to make such a powerful impact in our family. My automatic responses are not yet based in NVC. It takes practice to override our old ways of reacting. I am grateful that the moments I've been able to empathize with our kids and connect at the needs level has been enough to model for Chase how to connect with his needs, and contribute to his own and others with clarity and integrity.

Grace in, Peace out

Resources for learning nonviolent communication

my other blog posts on compassionate parenting (parenting with nvc)