I know the ego is what caused these issues for me before because I recently was reminded how hooked it can get. We just neared the end of a construction project and things get pretty stressful when work gets behind. Since I have a role (not THE role) in decision-making, it makes me eligible for getting thrown under the bus when things go wrong. The old me would immediately make a defensive response to being thrown under. The new me sees that getting thrown under the bus is not painful if you lay still and watch it go by. It is when you desperately grasp on as it passes, that you get drug through heaven knows what.
I may have to gently roll out of the way of wheels, but I don't want to grab any more buses. In order to take that approach, the ego has to stare humility in the face. I'm not saying the ego is quiet. It usually has the first thought, but I think the centering prayer and meditation practices extend the gap between my ego's response and my outward reaction.
I feel much more in control of my reactions to these stressful situations and that allows me to bring my true self into the work place. Being myself at work meets my need for authenticity. When I don't grab onto the bus, I never bring the bus into our family life. That makes everybody happy!