The speedometer dial is pushing its way to 120mph. I am in the passenger seat of a Mazda 3 sitting next to the driver, a 20-something dude from southern California I met a couple hours earlier. His brother, a team-mate of my big brother, is racing in this desert.
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my life is like the constant movement
on the surface of the water
reflections of branches
dancing in endless
shimmies and shakes
visible vibrations ones you
know are always there
can now be seen
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Sit at the table.
Let’s place our offerings
Scatter them.
Let them pile up and mingle
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The hardest part about not using alcohol as an escape or numbing agent over the last 12 months was choosing to look head-on at why I wanted to escape or numb in the first place.
I haven't used this strategy for 365 days.
I made it through not drinking while at Minute Maid park for the last game of the World Series.
I made it through not drinking while
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Keeper of light
Seer of hope
Celebrant of sparks
Lifting distracting veils
Blocking weighty projections
Smashing cloudy perceptions
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Last to find myself, lost in a sea
of opportunities that look like
A parade of all the ways I don’t
Belong in the family trilogy,
Not a prodigy, nor point of pride,
Not the first, the
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a 4 yr old’s protest
an explosion of
unprocessed feelings
a son’s realization
that changes carefully
cultivated friendships
a teen’s inability
to see the point
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I may be the definition of “extra.”
When I need to sit and read a book,
I think I need to write one.
If I did write one, you might begin to
understand why I am so extra.
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