I appear to be a hypocrite. I believe that anyone that believes it is worthwhile to attempt to say, do, or think in a divine manner will swiftly become a hypocrite the first time they say, do, or think something in a human manner.
I believe that we are judging, self serving, violent creatures. It is a worthwhile endeavor to become aware of this, to recognize that we are consistently at a crossroads of human and divine pathways and we will most certainly and most unconsciously choose the human way more times than can be counted.
On the off chance that #1, we see another way, and #2, we choose that way, we might be inextricably struck with overwhelming joy, power, and freedom that one moment brought to our human existence. We might hang on to the moment, celebrating it, sharing it with others freely while simultaneously making millions of hypocritically human choices.
To be clear, I use this blog as a platform to share some of these moments, or what I think are close enough to it to celebrate and try to repeat. I believe that as long as we try, as long as we feel the gift of a joyful triumph over the human ego, we will be hypocrites because we will never get it right all of the time. The best we can make of the celebration is to use it as fuel to try getting our humanness out of the way again. Our temptation is to use that celebration to feed our egos. We will never get beyond this struggle. Expecting that of ourselves, expecting that of others, is futile, inhumane.
A "hypocritic" oath
I know that I will never get "there" and the best I can offer the world is my tiny, broken, wandering path while I continue to try to become more aware, less judgmental and less violent. I will always be more broken than whole, more human than divine. I hope to celebrate small victories and remain aware that is just what they are, not proof of who I am, but something much smaller and bigger at the same time. They are proof that love can win, even in our troubled world, even through someone as small as me, as fleeting and as powerful as a spark.