listen reflect listen


Try this listen, reflect what your child (or spouse, or coworker) is saying back to them, then listen for their response.  Often we focus on trying to solve conflicts and "fix things".  This can make us get stuck on strategies rather than really listening and connecting.  Sometimes what is most alive for our children is the need to be heard.  I remember the first time I learned repetitive speech may indicate an unmet need to be heard, it made me recognize that our son often explained the same issue over and over again. He also started many stories with "hear this".  When your child comes to you visibly upset, listen, reflect what they say, and listen.