Triggered? Try Emergency self empathy.

When we notice body sensations that indicate that we've been triggered, emergency self empathy can empower us to connect with our common needs.  Once we practice self empathy, our reaction to a trigger, or the strategies we use to address our needs, can come from a place of connection and compassion rather than from competition or separation.  

Emergency self empathy is simply stating what you value (need).  I usually say this silently to myself, although stating it out loud (when by myself) is very effective too. Here are some that are common for me:

When parenting kids that are yelling at each other "I really value peace and cooperation." When I am interrupted when speaking in a work meeting, "I really like to be heard."  When a judgmental thought that says I am not a good parent crosses my mind, "I love competence as a parent."

Emergency self empathy allows me to return to a calm enough space to recognize what I am longing for. 

When I first learned about NVC, I focused more on getting to the request when I was triggered. Self empathy is part of the four step process.  Over the years, I have begun to deepen the practice of self empathy and recognize how much it helps me return to a calmer state of mind, body, and spirit.  We are more likely to make a request rather than a demand when we come from this space.  

I use this part of the process frequently, and it helps create a sense of fullness of needs in the moment even if I choose not to engage the rest of the four step process.