How to show gratitude
Everything you need to be happy is right here, are you? Dr. Bill Kerley
For the past 5 years, I've been reading Mary Mackenzie's Peaceful Living Daily Meditations. The daily passage from May 10 inspires this week's suggestion. Take some time to notice the beauty and joy around you. Become aware of ways your child/children contribute to your needs. Show your gratitude using NVC clarity. For instance when you-----,I feel -------because it meets my need
for------. For instance, Chase, when you volunteered to sit in the back row of the car, I felt joy because it met my needs for harmony and ease. Refer to the NVC list of feelings and needs to be sure you are using feeling words, not thoughts. Can you think of a time when your parent(s) showed gratitude for you in a way that was unclear? Statements like " you're a good girl","you're a fine young man", or "thanks for being a good helper" can be perceived and refuted in many ways. The jackal voice in the child might deny receiving this form of gratitude in the way it was intended. When we clearly identify the action (like a camera would report it), express our feelings and identify our needs that were met, we allow how children to see how their actions contribute to our lives in a tangible way. We also support their exposure and practice of NVC. They say it takes 5 positives to balance out 1 negative thought or action. So do this as often as possible for your kids, your friends, and yourself!